Thursday, December 1, 2011


....I have just had to move away from 6 people in whom I have invested a substantial amount of time and energy for awhile now. I have learned much from them all especially when to call it a day lest my rallying to convince them of a certain path becomes a control agenda for me. Walking my talk becomes increasingly for me the way to proceed and allowing the people in my life to do the same.
I await with some interest the new people that will arrive soon and what lessons they will bring!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Miracle in the Void Part 2!!

....just over two weeks ago in the early morning when the waking state and dreamstate are almost indistinguishable I was asked "are you prepared to die?" I answered in the affirmative saying that,although on the whole I would prefer to stick around,if it was part of the plan I was o.k. with it.
I have realized since that the question referred to the world of form or illusion.Since then I have been purging enormous amounts of fear, triggered by seemingly irrational and sometimes absurd memories during sleep.
I started to come out of this state a couple of days ago and realized to my surprise that I am no longer invested in the outcome of events turning out a certain way around people,places and things that have been driving me for some time.It has left a bit of a vacuum for sure but there is a serenity coming in now that will fill it bit by bit!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Even More on Unconditionality!!

...."give freely of yourself even though you're convinced that you're a mug to do so"!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

More on Unconditionality!!

..."you can never really have anything that you are not prepared not to have" comes up a lot for me these days.It is a great benchmark statement as a template for being unconditional in my life.It is the difference between being complete in myself or hanging on to the fragments(or shards) of co-dependency.When I am complete in myself I can serve without condition.When I truly love myself I can love another without need of reciprocity.All the circumstances in my life at this moment serve that great goal!!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Looking Back........

.....over some of my blog posts is interesting.There has been quite the amount of emotional purging going on since just before Christmas.I actually thought about deleting some of them out of embarrassment but reconsidered because they tell of a journey.I have reached the point in my life where I no longer feel the need to hide."Here I am warts and all!"seems fine to me now.There is a measure of ,dare I say it,serenity in the way I see things.The Divine order of things is apparent including the "goofy" over the top stuff. "Nerdvana" Lifespring used to call it!!

Saturday, May 14, 2011


...I have a wonderful opportunity in my life to offer unconditional support to others.It is a priceless gift to have such a chance as this to step out of the usual mundane self seeking often disguised as altruism that has been my story thus far.
The primary template for this is one special person that I am greatly honoured to have in my life even if only peripherally.The fact that we are on the fringes of one another's path is actually an even greater chance to be unconditional for it challenges the idea which must be transcended that a sufficient level of contribution would bring us closer together.This is the distorted thinking of the ego mind and yet another symptom of manipulation.
True unconditionality has no such requirements nor does it bargain in such a way.It simply is what it is and provides it's own reward!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My Space!!

...I have a little garden flat that is almost a replica of the studio cottage that I had in London years ago.It is as though I have been given a chance to reinvent my life without the competitive angst,neurosis and alcohol induced euphoria that drove my previous existence.
There is a tiny kitchen space used only to brew coffee at the moment for my cooking is for the family upstairs,a measure of my support of their journey which is so different than mine.
In the bathroom is a tub that is like a "doppell sitzbad" it is so deep and a shower that is best used as a hand piece,again so like Europe.
The living area is dominated by an enormous stereo system that primarily collects dust in between making dubs for friends of great performances of yesteryear...a reminder of a world gone by.
It is a place where my 4th. density world of unity grows incrementally as I do my healings,channeling and meditating.The computer connects all of this to the new world that is being created out of our hopes and dreams and the little garden demonstrates in it's own way how all this is coming to pass.It is a dream coming true!!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Custer's Last Stand!!

...the days of co-dependency for those of us destined for 4D are numbered.It can come as a bit of a shock though to realize just how deeply entrenched this behaviour is.I am beginning to see how the personality that has been my identity for so long is really the problem if I believe that it really is me.It is rather a faux- persona that protects me until I am ready to take on my true higher self identity.
For example,I can do a really good imitation of an arrogant,aloof s.o.b. but be equally at home switching to "showboat" when called for.So who am I likely to meet but another who does the is not a recipe for a coffee for sure because we both instinctively know that we wear facades to protect our vulnerability.
Only when we are both comfortable with being vulnerable will we be able to connect.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

A Blessing!!

....I am so very grateful to have such an opportunity in my life to be unconditional.My ego has despised it in the past but is becoming more accepting daily.The teeth gnashing,hand wringing and general moaning is now almost gone.An occasional misinterpretation of events still lingers but that is soon dispelled by saner thoughts.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


I'm now officially channeling...had my last assessment yesterday after a three month training period.Now comes the test of responsibility to be in service.I'm very grateful for the opportunity!!

Friday, March 25, 2011


...since I have been learning to channel I have discovered anew the process of clearing out my mental and emotional bodies.The ego/identity has to be out of the way in order for my Higher-Self connection to channel with authenticity,not an easy task.
It is yet another "void" where the ego serves up a wild assortment of irrational fears just to get my attention....observe and allow remains the key!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Just For Today!!'s been quite instructive to observe the polarity swings of my recent blog posts.The last two going from martyr to super aggressive posturing.
Today I am a little more in balance in realizing that,although I may continue to make mistakes ,I need not waste time indulging in mea- culpas or belligerence.
I continue to grow every day and in that process recreate my life.My vulnerability reminds me humbly to own the world of my creation.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Co-dependent B.S.!!

...that last blog was crap!! I am stopping begging the question right here and now.If I fucked up I apologize...that's it.From now on I no longer buy into my martyr story...get on with my life and keep on growing and stop manipulating by what I'm sure are methods that are nowhere near as subtle as I imagine.

Monday, January 3, 2011


....the telepathic connection that we are now forming has a whole new set of protocols as to appropriate behaviour.What used to be harmless indulgences can now be major affronts and seen as invasive in nature.Just like the last time.
Damn....I wish I had seen it coming....can only asked forebearance....ignorance will only suffice this once.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Not Just Another New Year!!

....this is the one where it will be increasingly intolerable for 3rd.and 4th. Density vibrations to co-exist in the same space.Ringing out the old and bringing in the new will be happening at every level of our lives, and those of us pretending otherwise will suffer the most.It will not be easy even for those of us who know and have made the choice.
Sometimes it is shocking to realize how much purging is still to be done,but again it's better than camping on the freeway and wondering why we got run over!!