1966 And All That!!

"We will neither regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it" ....those words resonate so strongly now as I go back to re-incorporate some of my experiences from the past into the present. If I just take the year 1966 as an example it tells me so much about my life now. I was in an extraordinarily hedonistic mindset having been dumped the year before by a girlfriend who I was convinced thought me as inexpendable as I imagined myself to be. As a reaction to the unimaginable I attacked my life with a ferocity born of quiet desperation. The orchestra that I was a member of went from strength to strength dragging me along with it. We played for a month in Daytona Beach in the summer concertizing and partying in equal measure. There were memorable performances throughout the year and frankly some unmemorable ones too,especially in Daytona all couched in the maelstrom of what became known as "Swinging London"... to be continued

....it is hard to believe that it's been so long between posts for me but it tells a story.My "blogging" these days is pretty much on my Facebook page now and I will keep this only for my history as it may interest people. Thanks David https://www.facebook.com/david.gray.5439087

Miracle in the Void Part 2 contd.!!

....I thought I was done with it after the big purging of fear,but I was wrong. Shortly afterwards came the most excruciating boredom that I can remember and I was reminded that boredom is merely serenity out of phase.
A Course in Miracles says it all"If you could accept the world as meaningless and let the truth be written upon it for you, it would make you indescribably happy".

Rebooting!

....I have just had to move away from 6 people in whom I have invested a substantial amount of time and energy for awhile now. I have learned much from them all especially when to call it a day lest my rallying to convince them of a certain path becomes a control agenda for me. Walking my talk becomes increasingly for me the way to proceed and allowing the people in my life to do the same.
I await with some interest the new people that will arrive soon and what lessons they will bring!!

Miracle in the Void Part 2!!

....just over two weeks ago in the early morning when the waking state and dreamstate are almost indistinguishable I was asked "are you prepared to die?" I answered in the affirmative saying that,although on the whole I would prefer to stick around,if it was part of the plan I was o.k. with it.
I have realized since that the question referred to the world of form or illusion.Since then I have been purging enormous amounts of fear, triggered by seemingly irrational and sometimes absurd memories during sleep.
I started to come out of this state a couple of days ago and realized to my surprise that I am no longer invested in the outcome of events turning out a certain way around people,places and things that have been driving me for some time.It has left a bit of a vacuum for sure but there is a serenity coming in now that will fill it bit by bit!!

Even More on Unconditionality!!

...."give freely of yourself even though you're convinced that you're a mug to do so"!!

More on Unconditionality!!

..."you can never really have anything that you are not prepared not to have" comes up a lot for me these days.It is a great benchmark statement as a template for being unconditional in my life.It is the difference between being complete in myself or hanging on to the fragments(or shards) of co-dependency.When I am complete in myself I can serve without condition.When I truly love myself I can love another without need of reciprocity.All the circumstances in my life at this moment serve that great goal!!